David Sedaris Hates Me

More on that in a minute. First, I will say seeing him read last night was wonderful. He is a machine, making edits and pulling out a notepad to record ideas on even while he's reading--without the slightest pause! His timing and delivery is perfect. But let's start at the beginning. Joe and I were pleased to find out that our seats were in the front row, which is good for me because I need a full, unobstructed view to fully enjoy myself. That's why I always make us leave unreasonably early for these types of things.

He doesn't allow photos to be taken (a good idea, I think, to avoid seeing so many unfavorable pictures of yourself), so I have none to post. I tried to construct some photoshopped version of what he looked like, but it's hard when you only have Microsoft Word. Oh well.

But why does he hate you, Cynthia? After he read his hilarious book excerpts and diary entires, right before he started signing books, he explained his hatred for the overuse of the word "awesome." He made an excellent argument, and said if any of us used that word at his table, we would owe him a dollar.

Joe and I stood in line for only about twenty minutes before getting to speak with him. "How is your night going," he said, tricking me I think. And what did I say? "Awesome!" Now, he doesn't need my money. He just finished telling us about a trip he took to Hawaii and a 400-year-old house he bought, but I gave it to him. I was the first one of the night to say it, and he wrote it down on a piece of paper. 

David Sedaris hates me, I told Joe as we walked away from his table. Don't worry, he said, he won't even remember us.

Anyway, I hope he used my dollar for something AWESOME.