I wouldn't know it was raining if I hadn't walked over to our window and noticed the sidewalk was wet. I can't hear it. I can't even see it. But, according to the damp ground, it is raining right now.
This will not do. Time to get serious, Washington. Do some damage. Make your presence known. Stop lazing about: Oh, maybe I'll change few leaves here and there. Maybe I'll sweat a little water out to semi-hydrate this place. Maybe if you held it in longer and stopped giving it up anytime you felt like it, your indecipherable mist might gather itself into some real drops of rain.
This is not an exaggeration. This is Washington. But I have a plan. I'm going to coach Washington into weather severeness. Like a personal trainer, I will guide Spokane through a twelve-month course on perfecting extreme meteorological conditions. Next fall, even pine needs will turn red and yellow and orange. Next fall, we'll have days when we can't leave the house because it'll be raining so hard. It will be so deafening that we'll have to wear ear plugs.