So maybe I haven't started grading yet, but I did do everything else I was putting off for class (giving credit for small assignments, grading quizzes, etc).
I just spent ten minutes watching a guy waiting for the downtown bus. He was wearing a big white cowboy hat, a black and white button up shirt, brown boots, and--what else--Wranglers. His leather wallet was sticking out of his back pocket, and it was embellished with large metal letters, which I assume are his initials. He also had a lighter sticking out of his front pocket. He seemed more like a movie character than an actual person.
Now there's no other work I can do and no other mysterious bus riders I can watch. I have no choice but to start grading.